Constellation gender issues

Gender pay gap: Difference between male and female executive pay much bigger than previously thought

We led a workshop last month with about 10 people in the room, 4 of them men. Gabriella  took the lead on the constellation and I supported. The impressions we had from the participants at the end included comments like: meaningful, surprising, confusing, affirming, insightful, upsetting, hopeful, and other words along the same lines.

At the beginning of the constellation, two women stood up to represent Men and Women in the workplace. Another woman represented the Issues between them.  From my perspective Women marched right up to Men and stood in from of them staring in their face.

Men appeared intimidated and looked down, seemly cowed.  Gabriella's sense was that Women first stood in front of Men as though to connect with them. After a protracted period of waiting, Women took a stronger, more intense stand. The tense standoff continued for some time both Nathalie and I feeling to let the tension fill up the room without intervening. Gabriella and I saw issues pacing in circles off to one side. Issues reported being upset that no one was paying attention to them.  An energy shift occurred when Men reported feeling ashamed.

At that point some connection between Men and Women seemed possible, but tenuous. Men looked at Women briefly and tentatively. There was an opening but a fragile one. Things were still tense, stuck till a woman felt called to enter the space as Solutions. Issues went to her and they embraced. Men and Women moved to the pair and looked at them expectantly. Healing phrases were spoken around seeing each other's pain and shared history. The other participants were invited to enter the space and find their own place. They stood connecting with the four representatives. The tension melted into a warmer, more heart-open place of connection as the group gazed at each other. During the debriefing, people related the experience back to their own lives.

The systemic principle of looking at what is, without judgment or preconception, and acknowledging the history and pain carried or felt by all seemed to be reaffirmed. Exactly what the Solution was not expressed, but we know that when Solutions looked at the Issues, the movement resulted in an energy shift. Whatever that shift was, it enabled both Men and Women to pay attention to and include the Issues without blame or defensiveness. From my perspective it appeared that Men held the space of "victim" while Women were dominating in the manner of a perpetrator. From Nathalie's perspective Men were withholding and Women were frustrated with their lack of relating. Perhaps this difference shows us how much even phenomenological "reality" is a construct of the observer's background and beliefs.